Dear Little One

When we started down the path of trying to conceive, I began writing in a journal to our future little one. I started it almost a year ago and honestly, haven’t written in it since May. Since our first IUI failed. I’m not sure why. I think I was scared I’d be writing to a non-existent, unborn child forever, and it started to seem like a ludicrous idea to keep it up for years. However, I recently ran across it again and have decided to keep writing in it. Maybe it’s ridiculous to write to a baby that only exists in my heart, but if I stop now, it only diminishes the hope I also have in my heart.

So I’m going to let you in, too. But only this once. I plan to give the journal to our future child someday and I want it to be between us. {I do realize if we have a boy, he may not be as interested but I did keep it PC in the journal. It’s mainly about feelings.} It is the first excerpt I wrote to him or her, and I get pretty real, but that’s okay. That’s the point of this whole blog, right?

See the excerpt below.

Dear Little One –

You don’t exist yet, but I know you will someday. Maybe through us, IVF, adoption, I don’t know, but either way, I already can’t wait to meet you.

You see, our journey to meet you is not going to be easy for us. We have some trouble with infertility, but we’re making it work. Sometimes I get upset that it’s not been easy and ask, “Why us?”

We just finished our first month of medicine and everything worked just as it should, but, unfortunately it didn’t give us you yet. It’s okay though. I know you’ll show up when you’re supposed to be here. I’ll admit I was sad about it, but I know when you do arrive, it’ll be that much more amazing.

I think it’s going to make your dad and I stronger too. Once you’re here, you’ll see he’s the logical one. He’s kept it cool and collected. He keeps it together for us. I try to, but he’s great at it. I keep us hopeful — and dreaming. That’s why we make such a good team.

We also have God on our side. He has a plan and we are reminds of it often, which is good. We need those reminders.

We also have amazing family and friends who are already so exited to meet you!

Hurry, take your time, do whatever, little one, because we will be here. Always and forever patiently waiting for you.

Love, Mom.

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