Welcome to the Club

I was big on joining clubs back in high school. I enjoyed rotary club, student council, drama club and so on. Two years ago, I decided I wanted to be a part of the “mom club,” but instead, we got demoted into the “infertility club.” What the hell, right!?

Well, I started thinking about this a couple days ago. I met someone who had gone through IVF, and you could see it in her eyes when I told her we were starting the process. They glistened a little and she instantly gave me a hug. And you just know. You know it’s not a typical person’s response where they’re feeling sorry for you {not implying that anyone has acted this way, just using it as an example}, but she knows exactly how you might be feeling and it brings back a flood of memories for her {or him}.

For better or worse, when you go through infertility, you become a part of this exclusive 1 in 6 club, and while no one hopes to be a member someday, you’re surrounded by people who truly can understand how you might be feeling. It’s a club where its current members take you in with open arms, and that’s a good feeling, even if the card to get in is not.

I never wanted an invite into this club, but I’m “in” and I’m blessed to have found others that understand me. That get why I am okay with giving myself so many shots a month. That get why I need to buy those jeans with the damn elastic. That get why I pump my body full of medicine every month. And there’s comfort in that.

It’s a lifetime club, too. You don’t get kicked out and you never forget, even if you end up holding a baby in your arms. Even though I’m not there yet, I can already tell I’ll never forget. I won’t forget the shots. I won’t forget the pain. I won’t forget negative test after negative test. You see, although I’m stilling fighting the battle, I can see the pain in the glistening eyes when others who have experienced infertility hug me, or tell me, “They know.” It’s not about holding grudges, but with a battle, scars almost always come with it.

And I don’t think I want to every fully forget the pain and the scars. I’ve written about this before, but it’s changed me and I have so much more appreciation for what’s going on in someone’s life than I have before, whether it be infertility or not.

I’ve begrudgingly accepted my membership into this club and its lifetime membership because while it’s painful and the journey is long, I’ve found some really good club members along the way. A very special shout out to my club members. You know who you are, ladies and I thank you every single day.

{Two posts in a row!? I have a lot on my mind lately, so expect posts more frequently.}

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